What does it really mean to “Make Life a Priority”? I mean, do we really know the answer to that question. Recently, I struggled to figure that out. And honestly, I still struggle. I guess it all really comes down to a work-life balance. What does that mean? Basically, it’s a self-determined state of mind and well-being. Someone who demonstrates a proper work-life balance is a person who can set goals and accomplish them while balancing work and personal responsibilities. I for one have failed dramatically at accomplishing an appropriate work-life balance.
To really understand why I failed I’m going to have to open up a little bit. It was just last year that I hit a very low point in my life. I just graduated from college with some pretty awesome honors. My family and friends did nothing but support my every move. And I had (still have) a job that is seriously awesome. But I was still very displeased with myself. I struggled trying to find a job in my major. I went on dozens of job interviews all of which led nowhere. I had set such high expectations for myself that when I failed I stopped caring. I felt as if I let everyone who believed in me down. I drank excessively and the only thing to pull me away from the hatred I was feeling for myself was my job. I worked myself pretty hard pulling constant seventy hour work weeks in a row. I needed the escape and work gave me that. Whenever anyone tried to get close to me I pushed them away. I became a shitty son, brother and friend, but with knowing that I still couldn’t get myself out of a hole. Now you’re probably reading this saying it wasn’t all that bad. Remember I said I was opening up a little bit. Really, I hated myself and the person I was becoming and didn’t know where to turn. Until someone in my life who I least expected said to me “If you ever need to talk, I’m a good listener.”.
Surprisingly enough I took her up on that offer. I finally started talking and opening up to a friend. She helped me understand the person I am and the value I bring to the people around me. If it were not for her I’d still be miserable. I will always appreciate her for believing in me. I still can’t forget about the other awesome people in my life. I am grateful for those who have helped me even when they weren’t aware they were. I had moments of weakness like wanting to give up and move back to NJ. At least there I was safe and could start over again. That was the easy thing to do and I had to prove to myself that I can do great things and be the person who loves what he sees in the mirror. I would not be the person I am today if it weren’t for awesome people in my life. Seriously. Awesome. People.
Basically, I managed to open up and realize how important it is to care about yourself. Don’t worry about the people around you because if you’re good, they will be too. It’s ok to be selfish sometimes and need time for yourself. And it’s ok to always be yourself. My life is now my number one priority and everything else around me is where it needs to be. For now.
This blog is about getting to awesome. I feel far away from awesome, but I’m getting there.